This weekend I went camping on the property of some family friends. Every year they have a huge camping weekend, where all their friends, and friends of friends, come up to swim in the icy river, drink, eat, dance, hike, and play. I only knew the friends I brought, my mom and her boyfriend, and the hosts of the party, but I met a ton of fascinating people.
It was great to spend time with people who are as different from me as possible. I can get so wrapped up in myself and being friends with people like me, that I forget there's a whole wide world out there filled with people who are passionate about things I don't care for. How blessed are we that there are people out there who are passionate? Why do we judge others so quickly because they're different than we are? Why can't we embrace the difference?
I had a great time meeting these new people, sharing in laughter, booze, and music. On the last night as we were all sitting around a roaring campfire, listening to people play the drums, guitar, tambourine, and sitar, as the river rushed in accompaniment, and people danced in front of the flames, I looked around the circle, looked up at the stars, took in a breath, and couldn't believe that this is my life. How did I get so lucky? How did I get to be so blessed?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
"...as I know I have squandered
most of my own life
in a haze of trivial distractions,
and that I will continue to waste it.
But wherever I was going, I don't care anymore
because no place I could arrive at
is good enough for this, this thing made out of experience
but to which experience will never measure up
And that dark and soaring fact
is enough to make me renounce the whole world
or fall in love with it forever."
-Tony Hoagland
most of my own life
in a haze of trivial distractions,
and that I will continue to waste it.
But wherever I was going, I don't care anymore
because no place I could arrive at
is good enough for this, this thing made out of experience
but to which experience will never measure up
And that dark and soaring fact
is enough to make me renounce the whole world
or fall in love with it forever."
-Tony Hoagland
Monday, July 4, 2011
Happiness Is...
1. Reading a good book until 2am.
2. Long, hard storms.
3. A kind friend offering to buy a movie ticket, b/c you can't afford it.
4. Having time to cook good foods.
5. An old fashion board game night.
6. Playing with fabulous kids.
7. Planning your best friend's Bachelorette party and making the slideshow for her wedding.
8. Planting garlic and watching it start to grow.
9. First Friday Art Night, Mexican food, and a great conversation with a close friend.
10. Hugs from your favorite bartender and the butterflies of having a silly crush.
2. Long, hard storms.
3. A kind friend offering to buy a movie ticket, b/c you can't afford it.
4. Having time to cook good foods.
5. An old fashion board game night.
6. Playing with fabulous kids.
7. Planning your best friend's Bachelorette party and making the slideshow for her wedding.
8. Planting garlic and watching it start to grow.
9. First Friday Art Night, Mexican food, and a great conversation with a close friend.
10. Hugs from your favorite bartender and the butterflies of having a silly crush.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
LandSea Jounral Entry- September 2003
DAY 9:
"It's hard to explain the pain that accompanies each day. While you're hiking, your feet kill, you're tired, the pack is heavy, you're hungry, and it's hard to take one more step. But once the day is done and you're no longer living in the pain, it all seems to melt away. Sure, the next day you remember how painful it was--but you don't quite remember in detail. And three or four days later the pains of that one day have long been forgotten to the joys and pains of another.
Life is like the pain of this trip. The aches and pains really do go away. When it seems like the pain is there forever and that the hurt will snap you in two, it won't. Another day will come, and then another, and eventually, the pain will be lessened until it's almost gone.
Don't get caught up in the moment of pain. Don't focus on every ache and every pain, always keep in mind that another day will come and bring new adventures with it."
"It's hard to explain the pain that accompanies each day. While you're hiking, your feet kill, you're tired, the pack is heavy, you're hungry, and it's hard to take one more step. But once the day is done and you're no longer living in the pain, it all seems to melt away. Sure, the next day you remember how painful it was--but you don't quite remember in detail. And three or four days later the pains of that one day have long been forgotten to the joys and pains of another.
Life is like the pain of this trip. The aches and pains really do go away. When it seems like the pain is there forever and that the hurt will snap you in two, it won't. Another day will come, and then another, and eventually, the pain will be lessened until it's almost gone.
Don't get caught up in the moment of pain. Don't focus on every ache and every pain, always keep in mind that another day will come and bring new adventures with it."
Funk
I feel like I've been in this funk since I came back from Chicago/Kalamazoo. I don't want to do anything; I don't really have anything to do; I'm sleeping at odd hours; I'm whiny and complaining about everything; I'm anxious over the money I'm NOT making; etc. More than anything though is the fact that I'm not as appreciative or as in awe of the world as I usually am. I usually can find the silver lining regardless of what's going on. But right now, I just want to close my eyes and let this summer take care of itself. Wake me up when Fall comes.
Which is ridiculous! It's summertime. I'm not in classes all day. I'm not at an internship. I don't have much to worry about (besides making enough money to pay rent). I just spent a fabulous week with my friends in Chicago and some of my family in Kalamazoo. I'm off to a Bluegrass Festival this weekend. Then it's Rogue Camp in July. My best friend's wedding hoopla in August. And then a family trip to New Orleans (where I've always wanted to go)! So why do I want to close my eyes and wake up when school starts again?
I think I'm just struggling with the change of summer. As silly as that sounds. Going from a jam-packed schedule to one that's relatively open isn't easy for me. I like to be busy. I guess my struggle and therefore my goal for this summer to sit in the stillness.
To figure out how to just be.
Which is ridiculous! It's summertime. I'm not in classes all day. I'm not at an internship. I don't have much to worry about (besides making enough money to pay rent). I just spent a fabulous week with my friends in Chicago and some of my family in Kalamazoo. I'm off to a Bluegrass Festival this weekend. Then it's Rogue Camp in July. My best friend's wedding hoopla in August. And then a family trip to New Orleans (where I've always wanted to go)! So why do I want to close my eyes and wake up when school starts again?
I think I'm just struggling with the change of summer. As silly as that sounds. Going from a jam-packed schedule to one that's relatively open isn't easy for me. I like to be busy. I guess my struggle and therefore my goal for this summer to sit in the stillness.
To figure out how to just be.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
May 10th, 2011
Wings win.
Bulls win.
Thunderstorm.
Smell of
*grass after rain
*lilacs
*laundry
Last day of internship.
*no more groups
*no more mess
*no more rowdy kids
*no more sweet kids
*no more Bridge
Drinks with co-workers.
*funny conversations
*seeing a new side
*holding parts back
Bulls win.
Thunderstorm.
Smell of
*grass after rain
*lilacs
*laundry
Last day of internship.
*no more groups
*no more mess
*no more rowdy kids
*no more sweet kids
*no more Bridge
Drinks with co-workers.
*funny conversations
*seeing a new side
*holding parts back
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